Jermaine Jackson You are Not Alone summary
The book starts with a picture of Jermaine performing Smile at MJ Memorial
The 2005 trial hospital story excerpt in more detail. While Michael talking about the testimony to Jermaine, Joe want to start discussing a concert China. Jermaine says that Joe isn't into emotional stuff and want to divert the subject.
Vitiligo - Jermaine explains he first realizes it then because Michael was self conscious and kept his body hidden even from his family.
"I have negotiated with myself that the moment Tom Meserau starts to suggest that the scales of justice are tilting against us, I will action the plan and move him to the airport in the San Fernando Valley, outside L.A. We’ll sneak him out of Neverland under a blanket, during the night. Or something."
Chapter 1 - Eternal Child
Michael is 4 Jermaine 8, they are watching snow, christmas time but they are not celebrating it due to being JW but not really understanding why. Michael starts to sing "Jingle Bells" softly so that Katherine won't hear. First time Jermaine hearing Michael sing. They sing christmas songs, Michael is happy. Jermaine says Michael loved Christmas.
Michael loved train sets - had a secondhand one from Salvation Army. Played train game with shopping carts with his brothers pushing him on the street. They all built and raced go-carts, loved speed.
Love of Candy. Michael hid his candy well no one was able to find it. Playing candy store. Joe hitting him when he said he wanted to sell his candy for 5 cents when he paid 5 cents. Michael later giving away his candy for free to less fortunate children.
Years later Neverland : with all the lights it looks like christmas, train running, inside the house huge train set on a table, go cart track, a candy store, etc. So it's not only what he didn't have a child but what he loved as a child as well.
"It wasn’t a refusal to grow up because if you asked him, he never felt like he was a boy in the first place. Michael was expected to be an adult when he was a kid, and he regressed into a kid when he was expected to be an adult. "
Chapter 2 - 2300 Jackson Street
Grandfathers had beautiful voices, so does Katherine. She sings while doing housework, kids join in to "cotton fields". Michael was born hyper, full of energy and curiosity. While Jermaine was 5 he was changing Michael's diaper but he wasn't making it easy on Jermaine by wriggling, kicking, turning.
Germs, Katherine wanted them to be pristine clean. Jermaine, Latoya, Janet and Michael had a neurotic fear of germs.
Michael wearing masks - Jermaine says original reason its because Michael was afraid of airborne germs and getting sick. Says MJ was also worried about other people's pens , fans coming close. Later masks became a way to hide.
Jermaine says Latoya ratted everyone out. Detailed description of Katherine and her love towards them and their love towards Katherine and Joe met and got married. Joe, his work conditions, how he brought money home. Last time Joe cried was when he was 11 and lost his sister to illness. Joe gets hardened, never attends funerals -until 2009.
"None of us can remember him holding or cuddling us, or telling us, “I love you.” He never play-wrestled with us, or tucked us into bed at night; there were no heart-to-heart father-son discussions about life. We remember the respect, the instructions, the chores and the commands, but no affection. We knew our father as he was; someone who wanted to be looked up to, and to provide for his family—a man’s man"
Joe - Falcons- dreams of making it. Joe disciplining them - same from the Times excerpt
White mouse in the house, Joe trying to catch it not understanding where it came. Michael treating it like a pet and feeding it 3 years old. Joseph finds out, tells Michael to go and wait in his room for beating. Michael bolts. Joseph catch him and spanks him. 18 months throwing baby bottle, 4 years old throwing a shoe. Getting spanked badly. "Michael didn't help himself because he was most defiant".
Joe's guitar, Tito. Breaking the string. Joe telling Tito to play, others sing. joe buys Tito a guitar. focuses his attention on the trio Jackie, Tito and Jermaine.
Chapter 3 - God's gift
Joe practicing the trio. Michael making himself bongo's from Quaker Oats tubs, he's not in the band because he's too little but still wanting to join them on his bongos. Trio practicing hard. Michael and his bongos seated on floor. Joe bring Michael a secondhand real bongos. Early practice days Joe patient and forgiving.
katherine's mother comes, Joe gets the boys play and sing to her. Michael stands up and starts singing only 5 years old. Joe, Katherine and Katherine's mother like it a lot. Katherine says it's the voice from "heaven". First performance of Michael is in elementary school when he does a solo in his first year. so Michael gets added to to the group and so is Marlon because Katherine didn't want Marlon be the odd one out.
Michael and number 7. Middle name is Joe.
1962 to 1965 practicing. Michael learning to imitate adults, watching his idols - James Brown and Fred Astaire. Tito and Jermaine can't read sheet music. Growing up in Gary. Boxing. Carrying bricks.
Chapter 4 – Just Kids with a Dream
First J5 performance on Michael’s 7th birthday at children fashion event at shopping center. Later played at high school talent show. They win.
Their love for baseball. Especially Jackie. Jermaine hurts himself playing, Joe bans them baseball.
Contests performances go on. Generally win, once came second. Joe didn't let them pick up the second price prize - color TV- saying that winning is being number one. 1966- 1968 non stop performances, costumes, their equipment being stolen, "whatever happens show must go on", strippers at places they perform. Michael see them degrading themselves to tease men., sex objects, closing his eyes when one stripper threw her panties to men.
"the crucial difference lay between Mother and Joseph. She viewed us as her sons and often worried about the impact of all the performing and traveling, and to Joseph, perhaps, we were performers first and sons second;"
Michael most creative. Also prankster. Release of 'Big boy" single. School. Michael was curious to learn, thirst for knowledge. Michael and Marlon race, play army. Michael's friend Bernard. Michael hated to see him cry, cried with him if he cried. Sly and Family Stone and Michael's love for them. Open window, Joe scaring them with a mask - says Michael wasn't deeply traumatized. Gladys Knight. Calls Motown. Motown doesn't want a kid group.
Chapter 5 - Cry Freedom
Apollo performance. Professional pitch package sent to record labels. Meeting Smokey Robinson, Jackie wilson. Michael asking questions and learning from them, absorbing their performances. Whippings if they make mistakes, Marlon getting it worse. Joe trying to throw Marlon out of group, Katherine putting her foot down to keep him. Michael starting to self-doubt if he was good enough, refusing to do what Joe told him to, become stubborn, getting beaten by switch, hiding under beds, "I'll never sing again if you hit me again", brothers talk Michael down with offering him candy. Michael & Marlon calling Joe "buckethead" behind his back. also called him "the hawk".
Jermaine says he understands the beatings - keep them out of gangs , keep them away from the streets. Experienced a gang shoot out at the corner of their house - inspiration for "Beat it". Beatings were way of the world back then. Joe is not a monster, and when Jermaine says it people think he's accused of being an apologist and smypthizer. Michael's 1993 interview with Oprah and 2003 with Bashir, talk about Joe's beatings - all true. 1984 Michael saying "I don't know if I would cry if Joseph died". Michael most sensitive, didn't see it as discipline. Jermaine says Joe didn't truly abuse them. Michael's 2001 Oxford Speech about Joe.
"He then turned himself into a greater force of fear. In becoming the tyrant at home, he prevented us submitting to the tyrants on the street. It worked: we were more scared of him than we were of any gang member."
Did not have many friends, Outsiders might bring bad thoughts , bad habits. "best friends are brothers". Winter Michael sends Marlon to buy candy for him, Marlon get hit by a car. Michael blames himself. Katherine becoming a JW. Michael and his faith.
Suzanne de Passe persuading Gordy. Gordy still doesn't want kids. Audition. Motown signing them.
Chapter 6 - Motown University
Performing to Motown artists and Gordy's house. First time meeting Diana. She didn't discover them. Motown training, recording. Rebbie gets married. Randy 6 years old wants to join. Joe gives him bongos and says he will tell him when he's ready to join. Move to California. Says they spent time with Diana but didn't live with her -says it a marketing myth. Diana teaches them to paint. Jermaine falls in love with Hazel. A lot of good words for Diana, perfect mentor, wisdom,class. Unique bond between Michael and Diana. Diana like a surrogate mother. Gordy becomes like a father. Spending time with them - something Joe didn't do. Again training, recording, marketing lies/myths, image building, Michael laughs says it made them sound like the seven dwarfs. Suzanne nickname for Michael "“Casper Milquetoast”. Recording. First TV apperance. Diana presents Jackson 5. Joe not happy because Diana announced Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5. Sammy Davis Jr, nicknaming Micheal "little midget".Ed Sullivan show. Katherine and younger kids come to California. Michael's pet rats. Jermaine's boa constrictor gift from Hazel. Feeding it Michael's rats. Another house. Studio, school. Number 1 singles.
Chapter 7 - Jackson Mania
First Motown concerts. Bill Bray new security person. Fans rushing to the stage, following them, jumping on cars. Michael calls fans reactions as "wild". Girls running after car, Michael saying "look at that girl's titties wobbling". Concerts, fans, fame. Michael can't understand why girls throwing panties and bras to stage. Mobs of fans, grabbing them everywhere they went. Fans following them to planes, hotels even to their home. Michael seeing fans as a second family, respecting them, loving them and caring about them. Being confined in hotels due to fans. Sprints in the corridors, Michael dropping water balloons, pranking other people such as tying Bill Bray's shoe laces when he's napping then calling him and making him fall when he stand up. Michael's interest with clasical music, Nutcracker Suite, you can hear similar threads at Dirty Diana for example.
Jermaine and Michael sharing room on the road, Joe stayed in a adjoining room. Michael hated Joe coming into their room whenever he liked. Michael is nosy and likes to eavesdrop (with putting glass on the wall) on Joe, Motown executives, lawyers etc. Michael wanting his name to be in "guinness book of world records". Brothers get along very well. Jermaine and Michael only fight over bathroom mirror to shape their afros. Room service is Michael's habit on the road. Plays pranks places orders to other rooms. Teasing the roadies by changing his voice like girls liking them.
Alabama they experience KKK, hotel not wanting to give them rooms. Bad weather when returning from Alabama, plane shaking and dropping, leaving them scared. Later Michael would hide under beds and refuse to go on planes. Bill Bray carrying a screaming and kicking Michael on his shoulder, brothers giving him candy. International success. Always welcome in Gary.
Chapter 8 - Life Lessons
Hayvenhurst. Twin rooms. Michael sharing a room with Randy. $5 weekly allowance. Michael spending his money on art supplies and magic. They still did household chores. Joe put a payphone in Hayvenhurst. Michael receiving death threats so kids got pulled from public school and sent to private school - Walton School. They meet John McClain - became friends for life. Tito and McClain jammed together. Michael and McClain both mischievous. Example : a mouthy kid, they dig a hole and bury him in the hole up to his chest. Michael following Jermaine around. Catching him while kissing a girl and shouting it.
Jermaine when home saw Hazel a lot, it was puppy love. On the road he find it hard to resist female attention and had to sneak girls from Bill Bray and Joe. Michael made it harder for him. One day Michael is no where to be seen. Jermaine has sneaked a girl and is about to have sex. Girl mentions how she likes Jermaine touching her thighs but Jermaine wasn't stroking her tighs. Michael was hiding under the bed, touching her. It turns out Michael was hiding under the bed the whole time.
Girls banned. Motown didn't want them to have girlfriends, wanted them to be single bachelors looking for love. Joe also told them girls were bad, girls would distract them and hurt the record sales. Michael confused between the available boyfriend versus girls being poison. Joe sees Tito kissing Dee-Dee, beats him. Using Michael as a wingman to get phone number of girls. Michael telling Jermaine he always wants to treats girls as a gentleman.
Tastes in woman. Michael looking for a lady, honest and kind. Growing crush on Diana. Seeing her as the perfect woman.
Rose their tutor. Started Michael's love of books and reading. debunks biographers and says Michael wasn't a terrible student. 9th grade report card 5 A's, 1 B+ and 1 B-. Michael drawing soldier with stop the war written over. Giving a Charlie Chaplin drawing to a girl in exchange for help with Algebra.
Michael is the only Jackson boy still attending Kingdom Hall. Meeting Commodores, learning song writing. Friendship with Lionel Ritchie. First European tour. Playing and meeting the Queen. Meeting Elton John. Hole in the wall and seeing the next door dressing room, naked woman.
Michael's love for Rebbie's kid Stacee, pure love of children.
World tour. Jacksons become cartoons. Michael watch his cartoon every saturday.
Chapter 9 - Growing Pains
Acne and his nose.
"In fact, he hated his skin and his nose so much that he found it hard to look at himself in the mirror. This wasn’t just typical teenage self-consciousness: it became a full-blown inferiority complex. The more he looked at himself, the unhappier he felt."
Jermaine "bumpy face", Marlon "Liver lips", Michael "big nose" and they didn't realize how Michael struggled with that name till much later.
Jermaine realizes a white blemish on his left thigh. Doctor says it's vitiligo and not to worry unless it spreads. says Michael never bleached his face or skin and was proud of being black.
Gordy starts solo projects for Michael and Jermaine. Press portrays them as rivals. Jermaine says there was no jealusy or rivalry.
J5 releases more albums. chart success is declining. Michael says they need to write their own material. Jermaine had proposed to Hazel. Jermaine is thinking how to tell his family that he would marry Hazel, believes Joe will be angry (as he was angry with Tito marrying Dee-Dee and Michael will be sad). Michael acts happy but later Katherine tells him and Michael feels that everyone is marrying and leaving him and he'll be lonely. Michael never said anything to Jermaine about this topic, hid his feelings. The ceremony. Getting house in Bel-Air.
Michael working on "the robot". Jackson variety show. Brothers behavior towards Jermaine is changing, he realizes something is up. Katherine finds out that Joe has a mistress. Family is angry , tells Katherine to divorce. Katherine forgives. Meeting Bob Marley.
Wives going to tour. Berry Gordy arranging separate cars/ limos, security for his daughter. It started causing problems. Fights happened. Michael didn't like it. wives caused drama and distractions. Michael says he will never marry until he found his soul and creative match. "Wanna be starting something" is about these fights.
A lot of people leaving Motown. Michael asked for more freedom in their music, Gordy refused.